Broken Hearts
by Jackrabbit2011
Summary: Everything was for you, Doctor. I gave everything I had into our dance. Just the two of us, it was. Pirouetting through time and space; always our dance, just never our music. And now the tune’s changing. Why weren't you beside me when it all fell apart?


**A/N: PArt Two of my Forever Cycle. Just a humble little one-shot for you... **

**Broken Hearts**

Typical, isn't it? How I can't even listen to the radio anymore, without you seeping into my thoughts. You're sewn into the very fabric of my life now; have managed to thread yourself through every aspect of me. You're in my very blood, making it impossible for me to forget, even if I wanted to.

You're good at that- making people obsessed with you.

**This is the part, where the end starts. **

**All we do is linger, you're slipping through my fingers. **

**This is killing me. **

**But big girls don't cry. **

So why couldn't I stop the tears falling?

**I don't mind it. And don't mind at all. **

**It's like… you're the swing set,**

**And I'm the kid that falls. **

Oh, how could you do it? Leave me so alone, after everything we've been through? Do I not matter to you ?

Did I ever matter at all?

'**Till you're trying to find the you that you once had. **

I used to be so naïve- where did all my innocence go?

Tell me I'm the same. Please, for god's sake tell me I haven't lost what precious little I had left. Give me some scarce, in-the-moment comfort, for once. Say I'm no different.

You are.

How did you deceive me so easily?

I thought you'd last forever.

**Oh boy- you got me high…**

You're fucking with my head, and yet I come back for more. Like drugs- I'm addicted and I can't break away. The more hits I get the hungrier I grow.

For you. For everything you represent to me. For everything you ever gave me.

**If you'd only call me now baby, I'd come running. **

You could kill me over and over again and I'd still be here, clinging on to you. Your killing me without a touch. How can you do that when you not even here?

Your very memory's destroying me, and yet you can't see it.

Or maybe you can. Maybe you just can't stop yourself doing it.

**Sit down. We need to talk. We always need to talk. Somewhere far along the line… and then the bitterness ends. **

It was always _me_ that we worried about.

I was scared, so scared. About the future, and the aging in me it would bring. What would you have done without me? You needed me, almost as much as I needed you. I could se it in your eyes, behind the smiles and the laughter. We were living for today, desperately trying to ignore tomorrow. Always running, never looking back for fear we'd see just how close behind the inevitable future was.

Turns out tomorrow runs faster than we thought. It just wasn't the tomorrow we planned for.

**She goes left and you stay right. **

Such a fucking perfect description. We were together- of course we were, we had to be- and yet never close. Closer than any other two existences had ever been, but it wasn't close enough.

So out of sync- almost joined, but never quite finishing that last knot.

We couldn't help it. You'd breath in when I breathed out, a helpless reflex. But all the proof we tried to ignore, it was laid out in front of us.

So out of tune, we were. Tried so hard to be the perfect match we had in our heads.

But never would a Time Lord and a human be in perfect harmony.

We were a duet; but our notes weren't pitched, we didn't hit the high notes properly, and our song was slowly ending. We stumbled through the introduction, missing the climax altogether.

But it was all we had. .

**I still don't mind it. **

**It's like one of those bad dreams that you can't wake up. **

**You've given up. You've had enough. **

**But I want more. **

Was every loving glance, every smile, every hug a truthful lie? Were you trying to tell me in the contact what you couldn't say with words? Did I miss what you'd been saying all along?

Tell me you love me.

Tell me I matter to you.

Please. Lie to me if you have to.

Why couldn't you have fucking told me when you had the chance?

**It's like I been awaking**

**Every rule I had you breaking**.

Never on the same page. Not ever.

You and I, we were so desperate. Both of us, driving through life with the headlights on, aimless in the universe. Me, in a world that wasn't connected to me. You, in a world that wasn't yours.

I gave everything I had into our dance. Just the two of us, it was. Pirouetting through time and space; always our dance, just never our music. And now the tune's changing.

**Drive until you lose the road. **

That's all I want to do. That's all I ever wanted. To keep driving and driving until there was nothing left. I kept on telling myself I could see through the fog, but the lights weren't on and I was heading for the cliff edge.

Why weren't you there to steer me away?

Why weren't you beside me when everything fell apart?

All just fucking talk, when it comes down to it.

**I always say that I don't need you**

**But it's always gonna come right back to this. **

**Please don't leave me. **

But how can you leave me when we were never really together?

**I need you. **

**I'm sorry. **

**Please, please don't leave me. **

How can you take my heart and break it into splinters and still have me beg you like this? My heart's always been broken, right from the beginning. You just finished the job.

Just like I always knew you would. Knew with every fibre of my being, and yet I stood by and watched as you did it.

Even helped you along, at times.

**Where did you go? How did you know? **

**Why did you take the light and leave me in such darkness so easily? **

I was so lost before you- wandering around without your light to guide me.

Now I'm more alone than I was before. There's nothing left of me. I'm a shell. But I wouldn't take back everything I gave you.

Or maybe I would.

Parts of me can't believe I'd even ask myself- but were you worth it? You died and you took me with you.

Where did I go?

**Normally I'm so strong. **

**But I can't wake up on the floor no more. **

Knowing for sure we're further apart than a parallel universe.

**It's all your fault- you called me beautiful. **

**You turned me out, and now I can't turn back. **

I still remember it, even now. Even after so many years, our meeting is etched in my memory. You're part of me, whether I like it or not.

Back when everything was so much easier.

Why the hell did you have to save me?

**Everywhere I look, I'm surrounded by your embrace. **

I can't stop it. My very existence is enthused with your scent, your presence. You're a whisper, but you are more tangible than anything logical.

How can you continue to torture me so, and still have me beg you?

Why do you matter so much to me?

How could you not?

**I think I'm moving, but I go nowhere. **

You took my world and made it so much bigger- now you're leaving me without a map? All I've got is pain to keep me here while you walk away.

You would have done anything, for anybody. I loved that.

But what about you? The man who looks after everyone, who cures sick worlds; who does _he_ turn to? Who looks after the man who saves the day, the one with all the answers?

Where does he get his help from, when having people depend on him gets too much?

You never had that, did you?

**Where did you go? How could you get out of a world gone mad whilst I was left behind? **

You get further away with every moment. I close my eyes and let the tears fall, my pain in those tiny droplets of water. I'm stuck here; I can't keep on tagging along like a puppy anymore. You ran into my world and never stopped sprinting, and now I'm lagging behind. I'm out of breath, I can't keep up, but you're still running. Getting further and further away. You can't hear my cries anymore.

You were my life.

What happens when your life leaves you? What are you left with then, when the very icon of everything that's worth something, just…. fades away?

Oh Doctor, how could you do this to me?

**A/N: Reviews? Part Three up later!**


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